Wednesday, August 5, 2015

My Up and Coming Dawn

I had a dream last night
the dive bar was a bank
I had a dream last night
That flood was a water slide
I had a dream last night
That tomorrow is a dream

Where’d all the money go?
Can’t get from one step to the next
The folks with blind folds are always one step ahead
Stumbling around, defensive, hypochondriacs                                                          
They think they’re color blind

I was transplanted like a cactus
A lovely succubus with hallucinogens trapped in my meat
If I cut you it was probably an accident
But now I’m this invasive species here

Once a lonely desert in a sea of green
I’m a dime a dozen house plant in these urban trees
I go to the dollar store to find myself for cheap
But it’s too late they evicted the desert
Isn’t that nice,
Now it’s an oasis
I’m all pruny and pasty, shriveling at the sight

It’s all a lie, a conspiracy, all along
I’m not the cactus I’m the pot
I’m the water and the window sill
And these thorns made me hot
But now I’m all alone
this shit hole smells like air freshener
I try to chant to Buddha but he’s helping the blind

They are not blind
Buddha, you are not Buddha
I call your bluff
Don’t take the price you get
Don’t pea in the water park
Don’t shit in the ball pit
Don’t take pictures of your quaint 15$ breakfast  
Morality is not a quiet night at home
Morality is not a morning in a cubicle
The default is not kevin spacey with a gun to his head
It’s mother fuckers thinking opportunity is free

Remember the waters we swim in
sank somebody’s first Christmas,
 and your 3d adventureis are built on grammy’s death bed
we brought her cactus ashes
and a pot to lie inside
left it in her oasis, it rained a bit and we sighed

Remember that fairy tales are as real as their fables
Mysticism, passion, and even little red riding hoods tasty ankles

There was a wolf by the dumpster today
She was taller than me and looked like she belonged on a super 90’s tee
I Say hello but no heavy petting
Now I know The alpha is here,
 I sniff her ass and look down
I didn’t know she just wanted to mess around
live and let live don’t Mean economics forgive
Those who aren’t in debt and those who have kids
Discrimination dichotomies, black white woman man mind body
Some corporeal shit it’s got a hold of me
I wanna smile just like you
I don’t want no sexy bathrooms
Just electric ukuleles
I force feed myself such snarky self loathing and pampers
Apathy diapers and smiles turns to fiber
It’s true there’s not much between me and the fucker fantasizing of their technicolor tokens
It’s guilty’s guilt for the crimes ill committed of a historicity locked away in our drain pipes, those crimes have debts but wait the land lords collectin, listen up somebody, but guilt sews my eyes shut. These viewings are not for little white girls. Be vulnerable, the cracked kettle says to the shattered tea pot.
It’s been life times of temporary glue, group therapy in ware house rooms, and everyday glances that separate me from you. A life time of translation and English is still my official language.
 those silent smiles we feel falling off eathothers faces are fatal
Us them, me you, our their, we, she he, ze, it but why?
Sometimes
I gag and google professional help, never calling any numbers
But I hold up my head an remember I’m a brainbow
I don’t know who you are but I’ll meet you in my car.
Vacate the vacay premises so there is a vacancy.
We’ll just keep going and going and going and going
Vacate the vacay premises so there is a vacancy
I put my sexy sleep mask on
And imagine leaving no trace behind
Drive on al madrugada, into the stratum stank ass of porange petrochemical horizons
A summer sun slowed down with fatigue
From the Graveyard shift moonlighting as the fluffer
of my up and coming dawn